I’m in such awe of God. Seven years ago, I was tired! I was tired of my bondages: anxiety, depression, hatred, bitterness, anger, alcoholism, smoking, partying, fighting, and more. I wanted to be free. I went to the altar, repented for my sins, cried out to be saved, and told God I would give up everything for salvation. I knew I could not defeat my flesh on my own. I needed him, I needed his spirit. I knew there was another way of living. I knew I could be free. I knew the God that created the Heavens and Earth had a better path than the one I was on.
After pouring my heart out, God filled me with his spirit, and I spoke in a language I never practiced. He saved me. A former unbeliever! I was overjoyed! I was free! Honestly, there are no words to describe what I experienced.
… but my husband was not saved.
The enemy tried to plant seeds in my mind. I saw visions of women pursuing Trev and him falling to temptation. I was taunted with images of us getting a divorce. I was tempted to get dressed and go out to the nightclub with my husband “but just don’t drink.” I refused the enemy’s invitation, his bait to draw me back to the world I ran from. I knew if I lowered my new standard of living, I may fall to old bondages. The price I’d pay would be too high leading to misery and unhappiness.
I told God I was not sacrificing my new journey for anything. I told him “If I lose the one I love, because I want to live for you (God) then so be it. But if I am the anchor of this family (for now) make me strong.” I started praying fervently for my husband. God’s word says the prayers of the righteous availeth much. I believed through my intercession, God would hear me and draw my husband.
I held on to God’s word “A sanctified wife will sanctify her husband.” God taught me that sanctification was not quoting scriptures to rebuke my husband using it as a weapon of correction. Sanctification would happen through my bible-based responses and mannerisms; living the Bible day in and out. I did this. I followed his instructions.
Slowly, Trev stopped going to the club. He put away drinking, cursing, the club and more. He started asking questions and connecting with men of God who could guide him. Trev started going to the altar, crying out for God to save him. That was the purest, most beautiful memory I will ever have of my husband: Arms stretched, tears falling, while crying out to the Creator.
God did it, he saved Trev!
Now, here we are serving God together. My husband is the rightful leader of our little family; not just because he is the man, but he has been instructed through scriptures how to lead us. He has been taught what being a real man is. I trust Trev because I know his dedication to the one that saved him. Above all, we push one another. God has laid a foundation where we can be open and honest about trials we are experiencing. I don’t see him as just my husband. I see him as God’s son and my spiritual brother. This helps me put aside emotions and listen to him. I’ve been able to open up about things I would have never shared in our early marriage. (If you missed that post, click here)
We once thought living for God would be boring. Boy were we wrong! We wanted the world and God, but realized (biblically) that can’t happen. We proclaimed to be Christian, but other than saying it, we had no life to qualify us. We now have a love and fear of God. Are we tempted? Yes, but the power of God in us helps us to resist temptation. You can’t overcome anything without God’s spirit.
The Creator has taught us how to be husband and wife. I am most certainly not bragging on us because we are human. Without God, we are POWERLESS. However, when you trust in God and give yourself to him, learn to love him first, you can not fathom what he can do with and for you.
If you are struggling to be the spiritual anchor for your family, God can strengthen you. If you have an unsaved spouse, God can save them. If you have turmoil in your marriage, God can fix it. If it looks like love is lost, God can restore it. You must have faith and pray!
What if I would have given up on my husband? What if I would have focused more on making him happy than pleasing God? What would our story be?
This testimony is not really about Trev and me. It’s about you.
What do you love more than God? Who do you strive to please more than your Creator? What are you not willing to give up in exchange for a better relationship with God? What is hindering you? Is it worth it?
God gave Trev & I beauty for ashes & rewrote our story. He is waiting to do the same for you. You… just have to let him.