“Were you afraid of marriage.”
I was not. Marriage is honorable. Although, I have seen marriages that didn’t work out, it taught me what I needed and didn’t need to do to make my own marriage last.
I was not afraid of marriage. It was the most comfortable natural thing I could think to do once I met Trev. I really felt like I found the missing part of me and could not see myself without him. I know it sounds cliché’ but it’s true. Marrying him was one of the best decisions I ever made.
“What’s the best part of marriage?”
I have a lifelong friend and helpmeet. The Bible says it “It is not good for man to be alone” My wife is my helpmeet and my best friend.
The best part of marriage is knowing I do not have to deal with anything by myself. It is such a comfort knowing I have someone experiencing life with me!
“Did you guys ever break up & get back together?
No, we didn’t. Personally, I never believed in separation. If this is the person I love and chose to spend my life with, why would I run from him? Why would it be better to go back to being on my own (even for a little while)? I figure the reason most people separate is because they have not learned to effectively communicate. That does not just come because a couple has been married for a long time. Trev and I are still perfecting our communication. It comes through sacrifice, listening to the other person when you feel you are not being heard, & sometimes taking the wrong when you think you are right.
Trev & I have never slept on the sofa or at our parent’s house to get away from a heated argument. (If anyone has, I am not shunning you; just our testimony). “We are going to deal with this situation even if it means not talking about it now and resuming when we aren’t so emotional.”
Has it always been easy to talk it out? No. Early in our marriage I was excited to tell people how Trev and I had never had an argument. Well, I didn’t realize we “weren’t arguing” because he wasn’t verbalizing his thoughts. That may have seemed like a win for me but it wasn’t a win for our marriage. If my husband was holding in his thoughts for the sake of “keeping peace” in our home. That meant I needed to do a self-check: how was I responding? Was he feeling valued? So this turned the communication around in our home and now we can actually sit down and come to a common ground about things we may not agree on. Again, its a process and communicating right one time means nothing if you don’t make it a lifestyle.
Lastly, my question is “What is the goal in a separation? How does it strengthen the marriage? How does it help you to understand and work with your spouse toward a healthy marriage?
“Do you two pray aloud together” Is it weird or was it weird at first?”
For me, it was weird being I am a thinker and I don’t speak much. When it was time to go to God with what was on my heart and her hear what I was secretly praying for us as a husband and leader, it was weird for me. I probably was overthinking it!
We have talked about this. Why is it that people can do some of the most outlandish things together (especially when they don’t know God) but when it comes to something as powerful and pure as prayer, it seems like the scariest thing to do?
It was super weird at first. We both prayed by ourselves, but God began to deal with us about praying together. At the time, we had not started our family but wanted to make it a norm once we did. After pushing through the nerves, we saw how powerful praying together really was. My husband was able to hear me ask for God to change me in areas to better my marriage. It was an eye opener to also hear Trev ask God to change him to be a better husband. It made me love my husband even more! I witnessed God answer Trev and help him. This made me admire praying and increased my faith to trust that God would change me too!
“How do you deal with temptation in marriage”
Trev’s response: Do you want someone tempting your wife or husband? I don’t want anyone looking at my wife so I choose not to do it either. You have to be able to control your thoughts and actions the moment you are tempted.
Mhykee’s response: The Bible says, “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.” This showed me that even when you are saved and serving God, you can be tempted then drawn away from GOD resulting in the destruction of your marriage. I had to first love and fear God because being married does not deliver a person from lust. There will always be attractive men and women, but you must know how to bring your flesh under subjection to the Holy spirit (1 Cor. 9:27) even when no one is watching but God. I feel if a person does not fear God, that person will do things they never thought they would do. We must love God to even know what love really is. How can we give something that we do not truly understand? Love is not just a physical feeling.
That scripture goes on to say, “Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.” I have gone to my husband about things I was tempted with that I never would have shared in our early marriage because we were not saved. When I went to him, I was truthful about what I saw in myself that was not of God. I asked Trev to fast and pray that I find out where this lustful seed was coming from? What was I connected to that was starting to birth these thoughts and desires? Through praying and fasting, God revealed to me that it was a show that I started watching that was subconsciously planting seeds in my mind! I stopped watching the show and have not battled with it since. I praise God for a husband who wants to see me saved and on my way to Heaven more than anything else. That is why we can be honest with one another about where we are.
We are striving for perfection in God, that does not mean we are not tempted. Temptation is not the sin but how you respond to it is what matters. If you are being tempted search yourself! What are you watching? What conversations are you having? What kind of people are you engaged with? Jesus was tempted but without sin! I came out of my situation tempted, but without sin and the key was being open with Trev about what I saw in myself then we both wet to God for help!
What is your response to the temptation? Do you act on it? Are you doing things that you deem as small to satisfy a selfish natural desire? What is driving you to do what you do? Lust? Pride? Envy? The things we put before our eyes are planted in our hearts and birth a desire to experience them.
David said, “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.” Psalm 101:3 & I pattern my life in the same manner.
“What height are you guys?”
I am 5’8 and Trev is 5’9. Funny thing is my wingspan is greater than his. With my limbs being so long it makes me look taller than him.
When is the next addition coming? What kind of addition? 👀
Thank you for submitting your questions. We always enjoy answering them for you guys. Until next time.
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Thanks to our friend Quinton for capturing these beautiful photos